Things just sneak up on you.

It’s funny how you don’t notice some things in life. Like the steady weight gain, that started when you were pregnant when your first child and never really stopped after you had them. Or the even steadier weight gain when you are pregnant with baby number two.

During my pregnancy with Grace I went from a size 12/14 to a size 16, hands down. Since having her, I go between a 14 and a 16, wishing I could change, but lacking the motivation to do so. When I found out I was pregnant with baby number two I thought to myself, I can’t afford to go up another two sizes. I can’t stomach the thought of being a size 18 or even 20. 

Like all things I try, it started off well. I was eating pretty good (with the odd indulgence!) and my weight gain was small and steady. Recently, I have just caved to the temptation stacked around me. And I can’t help but feel like I’m ballooning into this huge whale of a woman, but i’m too scared to weigh myself or take my measurements, because I really don’t want to see the blatant facts right in front of my face. I’m a big girl, and while I have never been a small girl, I would kill for the number 12 to be the numbers I see in my pants when I put them on. 

My biggest struggle at the moment comes down to the fact that I am pregnant. I can change my eating to be as clean as I like, but losing weight is not an option. But starting healthy habits now, so that they are indeed a habit once the baby pops and the weight can come off would be the best thing, for me and for my baby. I don’t need those tim tams, and my baby don’t need them either. 

Starting is always the easiest part. I’ve started a hundred times before, only to have a week of clean healthy eating go down the drain when I binge out on all the bad stuff for a day. My relationship with food is a bad one, but despite recognising that, my brain refuses to believe that salad is a good thing. What I need is a solid meal plan, one that it flexible, but also rigid, because I work well with structure. I need to research and I need to implement. One step at a time.

Hasn’t it Been a While?

Well, here I am.

Yep I’m back again, and by crikey has it been a while since I last put finger to key to write.

So much has changed since I last posted that I don’t really know where to start, but I will try.

In June of this year, I finally started university. I recall saying I had plans to become a midwife, or a nurse, but that got thrown out of the window. I’m studying history in the hope of becoming a secondary school teacher! I know, right? I always loved history at high school, and am loving studying it at university. I look forward to becoming a teacher in the hope that I can spark a love of history in students like my teachers did in me. My history teachers were my favourites and I still look forward to seeing them occasionally. So that’s that.

Along with starting university, we also moved. So I could attend university. We now live in Palmerston North. A lot bigger than where we live before, but still awesome. I love it here! So do Taylor and Grace. We’ve settled well into life here, and I can see us living here for a while.

I’m now also the mother of a two year old, and my uterus is begging me to get pregnant again. Oh to have a sweet baby once again!

So I think that’s all for now. I might try writing again, about the constant struggle of juggling motherhood and being a student. So far, I’m struggling a bit, but managing. We’ll see how that pans out.

First though, I have an assignment due tonight, and I really need to get onto that.

I’ll be seeing you, blog.

Make Me Better.

I have a grand, master fantastic plan that will please everyone in my life, including me. I am going to become a nurse. That’s right people, a nurse.

Previously I have mentioned my desire to become a midwife. I love babies and I love the idea of helping someone go through that incredibly special time of their life. Unfortunately during my high school years I had dreams of becoming a history teacher and dropped out of every science class (except for one math class, calculus, wtf was I thinking?) and now do not have the correct pre requisites to do a bachelor in midwifery. Also my lovely boyfriend is unwilling to leave his job and apprenticeship and move to another town just so I can put us in debt. Even if it is for a good cause. He also wasn’t too keen on my original plan of moving to a different country where it would be easier to acquire the qualifications while also living closer to my family.

We live in a small town, right smack bang in the centre of the north island called Taupo. It’s a beautiful place, scenically, with a huge lake and views of snowy mountains. I am reasonably happy here, despite having only one friend, and no social life to speak of. We live close enough to my home town that it isn’t too much hassle for Grace and I to pop over there for a night or two during the week for some time with my best friend. About  forty five minutes from where we live is a horrible city called Rotorua, which I loathe but unfortunately where my plan centres.

You see Rotorua is big, it’s so big that you can study a lot of things there. It’s also close. So close I could drive there everyday to study if I so pleased. I think we can all see where this grand master fantastic plan is going. Grace is over one now, an age I feel comfortable enough to put her into daycare at, and Rotorua has the option of doing a bachelor of nursing. Meaning Taylor gets to keep his job, i get mental stimulation and Grace gets social interaction. Win, win, win. For everyone.

I know it isn’t midwifery. But for an extra year or so after I do this degree I can do a few extra papers and become a midwife, then I come out with two qualifications for the same amount of time that it would take for me to do just the midwifery degree. Smart thinking, I know.

In other news Grace can flipping walk! Everywhere. She is such a big girl, and So cute. Image

Memoirs Of a Geisha

This post has been a long, long time coming. In fact I’ve already written it once but never took the time to save it. Because I’m an idiot. Anyway, back to the book. My lovely boyfriend bought this for me as an anniversary gift, based on it being in the top 100. Let me say, I’d heard a lot of good things about this book in the past, so I was expecting a lot. It definitely lived up to my expectations. I loved this book. If I must confess I read the whole thing thinking it was a real story, because the way it was written made me think it was.

I found Sayuri to be a mostly likable character. Occasionally she would bother me with her whinging and expectations to get what she wanted. Her focus was admirable, but occasionally she came across as incredibly ungrateful. Which grated on me, considering she was probably a lot better off than many people, including her sister.

The book was well written, the descriptions on places, people and scents were very realistic without being long and taking over the plot, they didn’t bore me. I definitely recommend this book to a more mature audience, it was engaging and interesting and very realistic.

Next up I am reading The Lord of the Rings. I’ve started it, but not made it very far, which surprises me because I loved The Hobbit. I think I’m just comparing it with the movies a bit much, they’re a bit different.

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes a Baby…

Recently I have become obsessed with two things: marriage and babies. My wedding obsession started with this website. My baby obsession started because my baby is more of a toddler now and so many people I know are popping out tiny, cute babies. Oh, and I’ve been watching ‘One Born Every Minute’. Try watching that without getting clucky.

Weddings came first. I’ve always been excited for my own wedding ever since I was a little girl. Not just for the dressing up and actually looking nice for a change, but also being that much in love with someone you want to make it official that you plan on being together for ever. I don’t think I’m a hopeless romantic, but I am  a romantic, and would love to get married. Even planning the day would be so exciting. Well, that’s what I think. I’m sure it’s actually incredibly stressful. A close friend of mine is also in the midst of planning her wedding. I’ve known both her and her future husband since I was fourteen, now they’re almost 20 and getting married. It’s so sweet, I am beyond excited for the day (I’m a bridesmaid) which is  very quickly approaching us. I’ve tried to convince Taylor he should propose now we have been together for a couple of years but he thinks we’re too young for a wedding. Which is definitely true, he’s still only 18… but still plenty of people get married young these days. He also thinks we can’t afford it (also true) and with plans for me to head off to university next year (finally!) we won’t be getting richer! Looks like I’ll be waiting a wee while for our big day.

We already have one baby. Well, I think she counts as more of a toddler now she has hit the big one, but she’s still our baby. She’s been such a good little girl from day one that I always thought I could possibly have another baby so she would have a sibling close in age, despite being a young couple. I didn’t like the idea of her being way older than any other kids we night have. As it happens, if I do go to university I’ll be studying for four years, which means at least that long til next bubs because I don’t want to have a baby while I’m studying. I’m not good with extended breaks. So instead of  having a baby I want to study midwifery and just deal with other peoples for a while. Sounds like a good plan to me. I just need to organize that.

By the sounds of it I will be waiting a while for my wedding and for my next baby, but who knows, perhaps life (Taylor) will surprise me and decide to buy me a diamond ring. Or perhaps want another baby.

One Day.

This is a book I’ve wanted to read for a long time. Ever since I saw the movie, whenever that was, and loved the  fact that is was so heart warming and heart breaking at the same time. The book conveys the same feelings and just like the movie, I loved every word.

Emma and Dexter’s story is exactly like you would imagine a storybook romance to be, friends for an age with all their ups and downs. What makes this story believable and something we can relate to is the characters personalities. Like everyone, they have weaknesses. Struggling to find their place in the world once they leave university, not making the right decisions, it’s all so real, plonked right into this too good to be true love story.

Another thing I loved about this book is the unexpected twist. I love twists in novels. Love them. When things just jump out at you grab you by the ears and give you a good shake, it’s very refreshing, though also in this case very sad. Since I have love for all books with sad moments and happy endings it suited me to a tee.

I would definitely recommend this book to people my age and older, I don’t think it’s something I would have appreciated as much at a younger age. Next up I’ll be writing about Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. I’ve finished it already, because this post was a long time coming.

The Hobbit.

I’m a sucker for doing things in a precise order. After reading numbers 1 and 3 on my Whitcoulls list I had to read number 2. From now I will probably read the whole list in order, unless I get given or find one out of place.

So, The Hobbit. I expected the book to be like the Lord of the Rings movies, having not read those books yet, really long and violent, dark and gloomy, surprisingly it was nothing like I expected and I hope The Lord of the Rings series is just as enjoyable as The Hobbit. I found the story easy to read, light-hearted and warm. In the foreword it said that Tolkein wrote the book for his children, which could have explained the easiness of the story. As far as I know LOTR was written for adults so while I don’t expect it to be as nice as The Hobbit, I hope it’s similar.

I’ve also seen the movie trailer and cannot wait to go see it. It looks awesome. I’m quite a fan of fantasy novels, but I think The Hobbit would be a good book for anyone, young or old. Bilbo is the perfect character, real. Though he is portrayed as a sort of coward he comes into his own, and really shows you that anyone can do anything if they try.

Journey.

Not the band, my journey. My big fat weight loss journey in which I lose weight and eventually reached the desired size ten. It’s a slow process, but I am losing weight. I’m not complaining about the slow process because I know that it is entirely my own fault, I’m trying to motivate myself to try harder. At my heaviest I was 93 (!!!!!!!!!!) kilos. I’m now 88.

The thing is, despite having lost 5 kilos I’m not a lot smaller. It’s August tomorrow, I need to be thin by December, so that while on holiday I am able to look good on a beach in Australia. I want to wear a bikini. I also desperately need to get skinny enough to look good as bridesmaid. My friend wants to start looking this weekend. I’ll still be fat this weekend. I don’t know if this is motivating me, I hope so.

For the rest of this week I need to cut back on snacking, and eat less sugar. I also need to go to the gym at least twice. Or head outside for a walk. Start really focusing on my goals so that I’m not tempted to stray. I will be sexy in summer time.

Birthday One.

In a month it is Grace’s very first birthday. The big ONE. As happy as I am to be celebrating this with her, I am also a tiny bit sad and quite stressed out, see, I haven’t even decided how we’re going to celebrate this milestone. I don’t even know where to begin, who do I invite? What activities? Where? Do I even have a party? AHRG.
My first idea was to have a little lunch party with friends and family, but I hate mixing friends and family it just gets awkward. Plus if you invite one family member you have to invite ten more so people don’t get left out. Same as friends, where do I draw the line?

My next idea was to just have a small dinner with family in the area. That’s about 4 people. Which doesn’t quite seem fitting for such an event.

Then I thought I could do both. But that seems like too much hard work.

Then I thought about a restaurant. Too expensive for some people.

Then I swore loudly and decided not to do anything with anyone and ban visitors that weekend. Just have a cake for desert and leave it at that.

Now I’m back at square one without a single idea what to do.

As a kid I didn’t have birthday parties, my parents didn’t do that sort of thing. I remember on the one or two occasions we did have parties they combined mine with my brothers, as they’re ten days apart. I assume they did something for my first birthday, but I can’t remember what. I’m in a pickle. So please, someone in the blogosphere, HELP ME. Hear my cries, the desperate need for some help for this party novice (who still doesn’t attend parties). Help me plan this special day. Her birthday is a Monday, so it’ll be the weekend before. You (I) have one month to think of something and get a plan going. Don’t leave me stranded.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

First up I think  I need to apologise for running the most boring blog ever! My only excuse is that Grace ripped off yet another key from our laptop.. the space key, which makes typing a whole post quite hard! Nonetheless I do have a post that is non book related in mind, I just need to write it.

Anyway, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and the other two books in the Millennium series (The Girl Who Played With Fire and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest)were amazing! I usually jump on bandwagons early when it comes to books, but for some reason just never got around to reading these. I loved them, just like most people it seems, given that TGWTDT is number one in the top 100.

TGWTDT started of really slowly, I kept waiting for something big to happen and when the story picks up the pace it all comes together so nicely that you just have to keep turning the pages. It shocks you, and keeps you in suspense just long enough that you don’t get bored, and doesn’t flick back and forth over nothing. Larrsson writes about what is important to the story, and doesn’t waste time on useless info. The boring stuff at the start is necessary if you wanna keep up with who is who later on.  The Swedish names get a little confusing, but not too much.

I liked TGWTDT the most out of the series, it was to me the most gripping story line. I still loved the other two though, so much so I wished there was more. Which I found out during  my research (on wikipedia), there was supposed to be, but due to the early death of the author he was unable to finish. How much do I wish he could have.

I would definitely recommend this series to other people, though perhaps not the faint of heart as it does get a little gory occasionally. This was well worth the read and I am considering buying the series to read again at a later date. I always re read books, because there is always something you miss or forget the first time round!